Now wash your hands
This past month I tried something new. I tried breathing. Not regular normal in and out breathing type stuff, I do that every day. I mean concentrated inhales and exhales, through the nose and out the mouth. Sometimes when I did it I closed by eyes and rhythmically pressed the tips of my finger and thumb together. I did it to try and create a tiny pocket of zen in an otherwise hectic and chaos filled head. A head in which sometimes, I feel so fucking mad at people, for no reason. A head in which I feel judgmental as fuck, looking around and laugh internally at other people I feel have less of a handle on this shit. A head in which I feel jealous. Sickly jealous. So jealous I think about destroying the things they love, and leaving a hole in there lives, the likes of which I have in mine. It's a feeling that ebbs and flows into me as regularly as the ebbs and flows of my depression, my anxiousness or my complete malaise, but of all these feelings it's the one I'm most