oh-fuck-free moments

Every single time he lost his keys, he cursed himself for being so fucking clumsy.

Feeling a red mist of self loathing and dire frustration descend, he patted each pocket, checked each table top, walked up and down the stairs, and to the car and back. He looked in coats, bags, shoes, plant pots and decorative bowls filled with miscellaneous items. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen, the bedroom, and the basement.

Sitting, bereft of any new thought as to where the keys might be, he held his head in his hands and said: Why does this always happen to me?

and if anyone else would have been there with him, they might have said: It doesn't.

Since living here Peire has used his keys 1,475 times, and in that entire amount of usage, only once has he struggled this hard to find them.

It seems it's the natural condition of our brains to focus in on each and every time something doesn't run smoothly, pushing out the memory of each time something does. Instead of noticing the effortless moments of grasping our keys, we only really pay attention when it's fucked. Instead of noticing how brilliant the wall is, we see only the cracks. We take a highlighter pen and embolden each word the author spelled incorrectly, completely forgetting how much we loved the page before.

Maybe it's because we don't stop to breathe, think, and appreciate the effortlessness of finding our keys. The moments of grace and beauty. Of being here, with out the T's & C's. 

Or perhaps it's because from the day we're birthed onto this cold hard earth we're programmed to function on a level of utmost perfection, considering misnomers, haphazards, accidents, forgetfulness, mistakes and regrets to be the carnivorous stomach worms of our success, eating it away, making us feel sick and tired of being like this.

Next time I fuck up. Next time I lose my keys. Drop a glass of milk. Cut my finger. Smash my phone. Scuff a shoe. Break a bone. Chip a tooth. Vomit in a lift. Trip or nearly die. I'm gunna pause and bask in the glory of that act, I'm going to stand right beside it and have my picture took, so I will always remember the millions and millions of oh-fuck-free moments that came before.